


Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby

by kitsunechikyu



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Past Child Abuse, and i am not letting him get off the hook that easily, and lukas' past too, bo is trying to be better but he has a lot to make up for, it will be okay though, literally just so much angst, supportive helen and gabe, talks about philip's past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-27
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-12 15:24:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9078595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitsunechikyu/pseuds/kitsunechikyu
Summary: “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t get to her in time. I tried, but Kane found her first. She’s- she’s dead Philip. She’s gone.”The words don’t register at first. They seem distorted and muffled, as if they were said underwater. Philip wants to pretend that he's heard her wrong. He feels like he’s in a dream. He shakes his head once and opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes out. Dead? No she’s not- she can’t be.  (Or, Anne Shea is dead and everyone blames themselves, Lukas' dad is trying to be better but old habits are hard to kick, the boys have PTSD coming out of their ears, and being two gay kids in a small town is hard).





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Heya everyone! So, the finale aired last weekend, and I'm a mess. I decided to write a post-episode ten fic to fill in some blanks just in case we don't get a season two. This one isn't a coda, so it will be longer (I'm expecting 4-6 chapters, we shall see). The POV will switch back and forth between Philip and Lukas, but it will still be in third person. There will also be a shit ton of angst, so buckle up. Enjoy! 
> 
> (the title is the name of a song off of tyler and james' philkas playlist).

They get all the way to the hospital before Helen drops the bomb. Philip is standing outside Lukas’ room, still in his sweat-drenched t-shirt and dirty jeans, when she pulls him aside. Her eyes are glassy, which makes his stomach lurch. He’s never seen his foster mom cry before today and he has decided that it’s not something he really wants to see again.

 

“Philip,” Helen starts, clearing her throat. 

 

He can tell that she’d rather not be having this conversation. Usually, she would be calm and collected, with her ‘don’t bullshit me’ facade firmly in place, but right now she looks more like a caged animal than a cop. Worry claws at Philip’s insides, making his chest tight.

 

“What is it?” he asks. He doesn’t think he wants to know the answer.

 

“Philip, it’s- it’s your mom.”

 

Helen breaks off to run a hand through her messy hair and Philip’s heart stops beating altogether.

 

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t get to her in time. I tried, but Kane found her first. She’s- she’s dead Philip. She’s gone.”

 

The words don’t register at first. They seem distorted and muffled, as if they were said underwater. Philip wants to pretend that he's heard her wrong. He feels like he’s in a dream. He shakes his head once and opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes out.  _ Dead? No she’s not- she can’t be.  _

 

“Philip…”

 

Helen reaches out to touch his arm, but he shoves her hand away, backing himself into the wall.

 

“No. No, you’re lying.” 

 

His voice cracks awfully on the last word and the sheriff gives him an expression of pure sorrow that makes him want to either throw up or punch something. It isn’t until he looks at Gabe, who has come up beside his wife to put an arm around her shoulders, that he shatters. All the air in his body suddenly dissipates and he feels like he can’t breathe. Philip’s feet give out from underneath him, sending him crashing onto the tiled floor. One of his ankles twists painfully on the way down, but he’s too distraught to care. He feels the sob he lets out more than he hears it.

 

Gabe is on him in a second, wrapping him in a warm embrace. Philip grasps at his jacket and burrows his head into his foster father’s shoulder, trying desperately to snuff out his cries. Helen joins in a beat later, rubbing his back with a shaking hand. Philip can hear her mumbling apologies and he wants to tell her it isn’t her fault, that none of it is - not the baby, or the murders, or his mother - but he’s not strong enough; not this time. Right now, all he can bring himself to do is hold on tighter while he falls apart.

 

* * *

 

 

Lukas wakes up for the second time in twenty-four hours to the sound of a heart monitor. It takes a moment for his vision to clear and he has to scrunch up his eyes in order to stop the white-hot pricks of pain that stab into his temples. His shoulder hurts like hell. The whole area is sensitive and unmovable, even though it’s been re-bandaged. He’s pretty sure he’s got pain meds back in his system, but they aren’t doing much apart from making him dizzy. To think he was happy and having sex only a few hours ago.  

 

The thought jars something in his brain and he is all at once aware that Philip is not with him. Lukas peers around the room, trying to locate the brunet, but only finds the sleeping figure of his father in a chair at the foot of his bed. He coughs lightly, testing his throat.

 

“Dad,” he croaks out.

 

Bo doesn’t stir, so he tries again, a little louder.

 

“Dad.”

 

Mr. Waldenbeck jolts and blinks down at his son, gaze initially confused, then fiercely protective. He grabs Lukas’ hand and it takes all the boy has in him not to flinch away. 

 

_ I love you so much, Lukas. _

 

“Hey kid, glad you’re awake,”  he says. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Like I was kidnapped and shoved into the boot of a car,” Lukas says honestly. 

 

He feels his dad’s grip tighten a bit and he winces.

 

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that now. Sheriff Torrance got the bastard, you’re safe. He won’t ever hurt you again.”

 

Lukas breathes a sigh of relief at that. He couldn’t remember much after being taken from the Shea residence. There were bits and pieces - a gun to the head, his hands being tied, blood - but it was mostly just black. All he could really recall was being scared out of his mind. He’d even prayed and he hasn’t done that since he was a kid. Lukas’ thoughts quickly shift back to the boy whose safety he’d been begging for.

 

“H-hey Dad? Where’s Philip?” 

 

Bo’s face falls, his eyes flicking over to the door, and it sends a terrible shiver down Lukas’ spine.

 

“Dad? Is he- please tell me he’s okay. The guy didn’t- he didn’t…” 

 

He can’t finish the sentence. His dad is looking at him with extreme discomfort and it occurs to him that the last time his father had been in this room, he’d seen Philip kissing him. But that hardly seemed to matter now.

 

“Dad, please, I know I haven’t been totally honest and I’m sorry, I really am. But I gotta know if Philip is alright.”

 

Lukas is close to tears now and is about to start getting out of bed in search of the other boy when Bo stops him with a gentle hand. His eyes are still unreadable, but he doesn’t look angry.

He rubs a palm over his face.

 

“Philip’s fine, son. He’s with Helen and Gabe, but he’s in rough shape right now and so are you. You need to take it easy, okay, so just stay put.”

 

His voice is softer than Lukas is used to and for the first time in ages, the blond wants to pull him in for a hug. He doesn’t - that would be too weird for them - but he does concede and settle back into his pillow. Lukas chances a glance up at his dad.

 

“Could I see him, if he’s here?” he asks, quietly. 

 

There is silence between the two for a minute, before Bo nods and stands up from his chair.

 

“I’ll go look for them. But please, don’t move.”

 

Lukas agrees without any hesitation.

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took me a lot longer to update than anticipated. I'm sorry about that. I promise this fic is going to continue, but I'm finding it hard to plan for it while I'm at uni. I'll probably be able to upload oneshots more frequently, but I'll update this one as much as I can. Thank-you for your patience everyone!!

Philip hates crying, not because he thinks it makes him weak - he’s comfortable enough in his masculinity to know that emotion doesn’t mean a lack of strength - but because of the hollow feeling that follows a breakdown. It’s the raw throat and sore eyes, the overwhelming exhaustion that seeps into his bones when all of his tears have run dry. This is the state he’s in when Bo Waldenbeck finds him in the hospital’s tiny cafeteria, staring blankly at a half-eaten sandwich. He barely registers the man at first. Gabe, who is sitting next to him, is the one who actually acknowledges the company.

 

“Bo,” he says. “Is everything alright?”

 

Philip blinks and looks up at Mr. Waldenbeck, confusion crossing his features. _Oh god._ _Was something the matter with Lukas?_ Dread fills his stomach. _Had there been a complication? Did he go into cardiac arrest? Was he dead?_ Philip feels like he may be sick. He can’t lose anyone else today. Before he has a chance to vocalise any of his questions, Bo speaks up.

 

“Yes. Yes, everything’s fine. Lukas is awake. He’s, uh… he’s asking for Philip.”

 

He says the words as if he isn’t overly pleased with this information and Philip can tell he’d rather be somewhere else. Perhaps in Lukas’ room, or at home downing a bottle of liquor. Either way, the tension that had been building in the younger boy’s stomach quickly evaporates. He heaves a sigh of relief and glances over at Gabe. His foster father nods his head in permission and shoots him a tired smile.

 

“Go ahead,” he says. “I’ll let Helen know when she gets back from the station.”

 

The sheriff had been forced to leave twenty minutes previous in order to smooth things over with the impeding FBI agents. She’d still been a bit of a mess, but as always, she had put her game face on and walked out the door, promising to return soon. Philip thinks she may be one of the strongest people he’s ever met.

 

Gabe gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze and Philip tries to grin at him, but he’s pretty sure it ends up looking more like a grimace. He stands up on shaky legs and follows Mr. Waldenbeck down the hallway. The two lapse into silence, and though it’s somewhat uncomfortable, Philip is grateful. He’s not sure he’d know what to say to the older man if he started asking questions.

 

When they reach Lukas’ room, Bo stops short. He rubs the back of his neck and awkwardly waves towards the door.

 

“I’ll uh… give you guys some space,” he grunts, before turning and disappearing around the corner.

 

Philip blinks and takes a moment to collect himself. His insides are churning. He’s both drained and completely wired, his senses still on high alert from the weeks of fear. Logically, he knows that Kane is dead - he watched Helen shoot him - but he still can’t shake the ever present feeling of dread that has been sticking to him like a bad cold. All he wants is for the world to stop spinning. He wants to be okay.  _ He wants his mom _ . But he also desperately wants Lukas, and that may be the one thing he can actually have, so he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and walks into the room.

 

The first thing he notices is how pale Lukas looks. Usually, the blond’s skin tone is light enough to be borderline vampiric, but at least then he’s got a bit of red in his cheeks. Now, he’s tinged green, with purple smears under his eyes, everything a stark contrast to his ashen face. Philip bites his lip and tries not to let the worry bubble up in his chest.

 

Lukas’ gaze isn’t focused on the door and Philip has to clear his throat to get his attention. The other boy’s eyes immediately lock on him, and his expression melts into relief.

 

“Hey,” he says softly.

 

Philip shuffles closer to the bed, coming to stand near the edge of it. He wants to climb in with him, to hug him and shove his face into his neck, but he also knows that this is a very public place, and regardless of the fact that they just survived a near-death experience, Philip isn’t sure whether or not it is okay to cross this boundary.

 

“Hey,” he says instead. 

 

His voice is raw from crying and it takes all his effort to push any sound out. Lukas seems to sense immediately that something is wrong because he starts to sit up and motions for Philip to come closer. 

 

“You don’t have to stand all the way over there,” Lukas tells him, reaching for his hand. 

 

Philip takes it, feeling the blond’s cold fingers slip carefully over his own. He walks closer and perches himself on the edge of the bed, careful not to jostle the IV standing next to it. He feels his body sag, emotion weighing him down like a ton of bricks.

 

“Are you okay?” he asks, eyes flitting over Lukas’ face.

 

“Sore,” Lukas admits. “And really fucking tired. The pain meds are making me woozy.”

 

“That could be the blood loss too,” Philip says, massaging circles into the other’s palm. 

 

“I’m alright,” Lukas states. “I’m- are we-” 

 

He stops for a second, mouth opening and closing before he changes his mind and starts over.

 

“Are  _ you _ okay?” he finally settles on.

 

The words hit Philip like a sucker-punch to the gut. He let’s out a terrible, strained laugh that holds no humour. He’s not okay. He doesn’t think he’s ever been less okay in his life. Tears are pricking at his eyes again and he has to scrunch up his face to stop them from escaping. 

 

“Philip?” Lukas asks, concern evident in his voice. “Philip, what is it?”

 

“She’s gone,” Philip chokes. He feels a droplet slipping down his cheek.

 

“Who is? What are you talking about?”

 

“My- my mom. He killed her Lukas. That’s how he got her phone. That’s how he found us. He took it from her after he- after he-”

 

Philip can’t finish the sentence. His body starts to collapse inward, shoulders shaking with barely controlled sobs. Everything hurts on such a deep aching level that he’s not sure he’s ever going to recover. 

 

He feels Lukas shift and suddenly there are hands touching his damp face, arms pulling him forwards, words being whispered in his ear.  _ I’m sorry Philip. I’m so so sorry.  _ He buries his nose into the dip of Lukas’ collarbone and lets himself be held. Somewhere in his haze-filled brain, he’s aware that this isn’t a good position for the other boy’s shoulder, but Lukas just keeps pressing him closer and doesn’t seem to have any intention of letting go. He eases them backwards so that they are laying down and scoots over to make room for Philip. 

  
They stay like that for a long time, with Lukas’ hand in his hair and his lips against his forehead, murmuring hushed apologies. Philip’s pretty sure that the other boy is weeping too, though he’s trying to be quiet about it. Eventually, when the tears refuse to fall anymore, he closes his eyes and drifts off to the sound of Lukas’ breathing.


End file.
